Apparently the doomsday clock finally reached midnight on Fox News doing the unthinkable: trying to make Fox News Comedy a thing.
Last week, we were all just living our lives with the relative lack of ease which is inextricable from Donald Trump’s presidency. But could we have known — could any of us have guessed — that Fox News was about to send host Jeanine Pirro out on assignment, borrowing heavily from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show?
The bit, which aired Saturday night, had Pirro visiting Hillary Clinton’s hometown of Chappaqua, N.Y. in order to, um, obtain Clinton’s whereabouts.
— Fox News (@FoxNews) January 28, 2018
Highlights include Pirro shouting, from inside a doorway, in the vague direction of a dry cleaner in order to inquire whether Hillary Clinton gets her “pantsuits” cleaned there. Pirro sputtered belligerently, “Hey! Does Hillary drop off pantsuits? Do you take pantsuits?”
But the zingers didn’t stop there, nor even did they start. Pirro also ambushed multiple residents in search of Hillary Clinton. Finally, Jeanine Pirro stumbled upon a woman who had indeed met Clinton. The Fox News host asked whether Clinton had her nails done in the establishment. She then interrupted the woman to ask, “Ya think maybe she’s in the woods?”
After speaking to a man who had previously served the Clinton family, Pirro asked, “Other than fish, ya think Hillary eats crow now that she lost the election?” This, dear readers, was followed by the single most cringe-worthy wink ever recorded.
Pirro’s Street Justice segment continued at roughly the same rate of total humorlessness, until it got worse. Somehow, it got way worse. So bad, in fact, that Pirro inadvertently provided great fodder for talented comedy writers to create actual humor out of this mess. Jeanine Pirro — a former prosecutor and judge, current Fox News personality and friend Donald Trump — asks a rabbit whether it has seen Hillary Clinton. “Have ya seen her in the woods?,” Pirro asks the unsuspecting bunny.
So you know what happens next, right? Of course you do.
Pirro ends up Blair Witching it in the actual woods. And this, folks, is why we don’t allow Republicans to do comedy. We use their words and actions to create great comedy, sure, but they cannot handle of the pressure of executing it themselves.